On-Again, Off-Again GFE

The Woe of Writing

2010-03-25T21:41:00.016-04:00

I have not written anything here in nearly a year. Why? I have been besieged by writer's block.

While I once found much pleasure in writing, it has since transformed into terrible toil. I always begin with a clear idea in mind, fully intending to produce an essay of sorts, but end up spending hours contemplating a comma or pondering le mot juste. Eventually, I become so exhausted by obsessing over that minutiae that I abandon the project altogether. It is the same problem that led me to drop out of graduate school almost two years ago.

I want to continue to share and document my experiences as an escort, but I must first overcome my neuroses.

The Pregnancy

2009-06-23T15:42:00.018-04:00

I apologise for my lack of posts, but, as of late, my mind has been burdened by more pressing matters; namely, my encumbered uterus.

My austere contraception regimen failed: I am about six weeks pregnant. Conception dating suggests that my boyfriend, not some john, is the sire, but it is impossible to know for sure.

An abortion is scheduled for early July. The post-surgical bleeding is estimated to endure for about four weeks, which means I will be unable to work as an escort during that stage. Now, I must find a way to pay the bills without spreading my legs.

The Lament of a Whore: I

2009-06-05T00:13:00.042-04:00

I chanced upon the pinnacles of douchebaggery during my last few dates. These were johns who insisted upon pushing my boundaries (e.g. repeatedly trying to stick a finger up my ass despite my stern protestations, and forcefully attempting to rub an unsheathed cock against my vulva). Then, there was the potential john who (very insidiously) attempted to use his membership at a local escort review board as leverage for extraordinary service.

What's next? An axe to the head?

The Accidental Primatologist

2009-05-26T14:26:00.022-04:00

Despite posting an advertisement that very clearly states I am available on Wednesday and Friday only, why am I being bombarded with telephone calls and e-mails inquiring if I am available today (Tuesday)?

To combat this problem, I implore the zookeepers of America to suspend their chimps' internet and phone privileges.

The Wealthy Whore?

2009-05-19T17:07:00.009-04:00

When thinking about prostitutes, two divergent images may come to mind: (1) the wealthy call-girl who works to finance her Louboutin fetish, taste for high-rise condo-living and cocktails in Capri or (2) the desperate, cracked-out streetwalker who lives hand-to-mouth under the tyranny of drug addiction.

It seems as though the former increasingly pervades popular conceptions about the financial lives of prostitutes of the genus escort (i.e. those who work indoors and advertise their services via print and the internet). Notable prototypes include "Belle," the protagonist of the British television series, Secret Diary of a Call Girl, who in one episode revealed that she netted over £100,000 in the previous year. Or Ashley Alexandra Dupré, whose income as a high-priced Manhattan call-girl afforded her penchant for designer couture and holidays on the French Riviera.

Seemingly informed by such representations, in a thread found on my local escort review messageboard, one john explains why he refuses to tip escorts:

"I won't tip them ever. Why? Let's look at it this way: $150 per client. Say 4 clients a day. Say 5 days a week (weekends off, lol). 4 weeks a month...

150x4= 600$ a day
600x5= 3,000$ a week
3,000x4 = 12,000$ a MONTH

[Obviously], I think they are pretty well-off and don't need an extra 20 bucks from me"

According to this analysis, escorts do very well financially, so much so that surgeons and lawyers might want to question their choice to invest $100,000+ in formal education when they could have just posted a few ads on Craiglist and spared themselves the woe of student debt load.

But, how well does the 'wealthy whore' representation reflect the reality of most escorts' financial fortunes? Is it just another part of the popular mythology about prostitution, like the universality of childhood sexual abuse and drug addiction? Inter alia, competition among sellers (i.e. escorts themselves) and risk aversion (e.g. turning down potential dates with dubious johns) often act as barriers to wealth accumulation in this business.

In my own experience as an independent escort (one with a very modest advertising budget and one who has never received a bad review), I gross an average income of about $1,400 - $1,600 per month (based on an hourly rate of $200). While I receive about a couple hundred inquiries each month, many, if not most, are rejected because they have failed my screening criteria. Perhaps I could increase my client volume, but only at a tremendous risk to both my peace of mind and security.

I'm not starving, and, indeed, I'm not toiling over a deep-fryer at a fast food restaurant, but I'm certainly not able to finance holidays in Capri (nor afford legal counsel should I ever be busted by law enforcement for my 'debauchery'). At the end of the month, my rent is paid and my belly is full, but there's very little left for any luxuries.

The Courtesans of Craigslist

2009-04-16T14:27:00.009-04:00

How is a john to know if a hooker who advertises on Craigslist is more upscale than her competition? What virtually makes her a courtesan among her reference group?

She can spell.

The Genesis of a Whore

2009-03-24T12:12:00.007-04:00

Under the looming threat of eviction from my decadent urban apartment - compounded by four languorous months of unemployment following my departure from graduate school (due to a virulent combination of alcoholism, poverty and depression) - I embarked on a job hunt in order to avoid living in a cardboard shanty.

I was determined to drink moderately, find a job and eventually return to university. I put forward an earnest effort in acquiring employment, but that enterprise proved to be as fruitless as the womb of Sarai: my telephone was silent. I was nearly two months behind on my rent and was without the money to buy suitable clothing for a job interview. Desperate, I placed an escort ad in Craigslist's notorious Erotic Services section. My telephone was silent no more.

I paid my rent that month, but prostitution did not turn out to be a temporary means to an end: I soon developed a zeal for the trade that had once helped to keep those prudish Victorian women so respectable.